22 September 2006

a new season


it's no secret that i am addicted to grey's anatomy. everyone is. it is a great show. fabulous. and because it is so, a celebration was definately necessary to kick off the new season. so last night a few friends came over and we popped some bubbly and watched with excitement to see who meredith would pick, the vet or dr. mcdreamy. there was also food:

-italian quesadillas with caramelized onions and roasted red peppers
-salad with hard boiled eggs and bacon
-filo dough puffs with brie and cranberry
-popcorn with truffel oil
-grilled pineapple with nutella sauce and vanilla marscapone

it was a good night.

06 September 2006

first day of school

my office moved yesterday. it was a long time coming. last week was spent packing evverything up and preparing. then we all went home for the holiday weekend and prepared for our first day of working downtown.

for most people, it was the first day of taking the bus or the light rail. that is a totally different experience than driving out into the suburbs and parking in our lovely prestigious west bloomington parking garage. the bus involves schedules and bus passes and walking to the building. it was great. i caught the bus, read my book and was downtown just in time for work.

the office looks really cool... we are all adjusting to cube life. i need to buy a pair of headphones to block out the world. but all in all it is good. still some construction going on, but good.

all of work was a wash yesterday. we ate blue donuts, watched a super crazy band drum on steel barrels with electric saws, then ate chicago style hot dogs. there was unpacking and galavanting about. then there were martinis across the street. three of them. and the bus ride home.

it really was like the first day of school. no one expects work to be done, some people had new haircuts. people needed school supplies. the perfect start to fall.

i am excited for sweater weather. fall leaves, wood smoke and football. scarves, hot apple cider with rum and all the other stuff. it does not, however, feel like fall in our office. we have temporary air conditioning right now, and it is so hot that we are all sweating. no fun sweaters for a long time.

keeping me up at night.

a month ago i was in kansas city for a softball tournament hosted by the architect's company which works out well because my best friend from high school lives in KC and so i got to visit her. we had a jolly good weekend. we ate. we drank. we were merry. it was a great weekend of fun.

that friday night we had gone to dinner at kona grill on the plaza. we ate some sushi and it was great. i had been one time before in omaha and hadn't had the best experience. my food was good, but the service was bad and no one else liked their food. but i digress. so dinner was great, we all split the check and that was that... or so i thought.

the next week i noticed on my checking account statement that i had been charged for the whole bill. sixty bucks more than what i was supposed to pay. now, sixty bucks isn't that big of a deal, but dammit, that is a lot of grocieries. so i called. three times that week. before i finally got a hold of the manager who i needed to get things straightened out. she promised to get the receipts and call me back. five days later, i still hadn't heard from her. so, thursday, i called again. she was waiting on corporate to send the receipts. she would call me back by monday. well, monday came and went. so i called again. she finally took my credit card number and promised to credit me account. that was last tuesday. today i finally got my money back. it has been a month since i ate at the restaurant.

now, don't get me wrong, i am happy i finally have my money back. but i am still infuriated by the last of respect with which i was treated. i was thinking about it in bed last night, enraged. about how i was treated and how you should never treat a customer that way. the woman was rude everytime on the phone. i was a pain in her ass. but it was her store's mistake. be apoligetic, dammit. offer something to make me a happier customer. don't make me call seven times to try to get my money back! it may seem like an insignificant problam to a big restaurant manager, but sixty bucks is a lot of money to me. and i should be treated with curtosy.

part of me wants to send the company a letter. tell them that customers come first. always. especially when the restaurant messes up. the amount of effort i put forth to remedy the situation was rediculous. but i will just send my anger out into the void and leave it at that.

eat at kona grill and enjoy their sushi. it is damn good. but pay with cash.

09 August 2006

ultimate bust out

so, first thing this morning, right as i am turning on my computer, the phone rings. it's the architect. it was pretty early for him to be calling me. usually i don't get a phone call until the afternoon. he is very professional at work. doesn't do too much personal calling, or when he does, he sounds very impersonal. like he isn't talking to me. this was not the case this lovely thursday morning. he was very loveable and cute.

"hey babe. what's up?"

"nothing. i just love you."

"okay... what's going on?"

"nothing's going on. i'm just being cute."

so i blow it off that he is acting kind of funny and start talking about bills. they charged us twice on an annual fee. i want him to call the bank. so i pull up my wells fargo. log on. and i notice that our joint account looks very low. so i click. and there. the first line: WIXON JEWELERS BLOOMINGTON.

"dave, did you use the wrong card to charge something? there is something funny on our joint account..."

26 July 2006

money brings you down

i wish that everything in the world didn't revolve around money. i decided (stupidly) to pay off my two credit card bills at the beginning of last week, thinking "oh, i can make it thru until the next payday on $100." wrong. bad, bad idea. now i feel like every second i could go into huge dept. that i will be overdrawn on my account and i will have to pay charges that i don't want to pay. i just need to start saving money and be a good girl. my new interest in ebay make this hard. i almost bought a beautiful MJ purse... the it bag of the season... retail of $1,200 and only $350 on ebay. but still $350 too much. i need to not spend money on things i don't need. i have a house now dammit. i need to shape up.

i did not buy the purse. and i am proud of myself.

11 July 2006

fire flies

there are no lightening bugs in minnesota. we were on our drive home from nebraska and as the twilight was falling upon us i noticed the millions of lightening bugs all over. they were in the ditches on the side of the roads, in the corn fields that we passed, splatting on my windshield and leaving glowing streaks. i remember the days when i was little and we would catch them and pull out the light-up part and make rings out of blade of grass. little tiny glowing diamonds that were sticky and lost their glow after twenty minutes. i remember putting them in jars and being excited about my homemade lamp.

it made me miss nebraska. i want to watch fire flies at night in my backyard and feel at peace. and i want my kids to be able to chase them and be in awe of them just like i was. there is just something about lightening bugs that says summer.

proof of independence

i went to a movie by myself on sunday. i don't know why, but for some reason i feel this was a big step for me... i am strong enough to be alone in public. in a place where usually groups go together. it really wasn't a huge deal. it was a nice afternoon, i had coffee and popcorn and watched the devil wears prada. i didn't worry about anyone else and it was relaxing. i want to do it again. it was kind of freeing. proof that i am strong. or something like that.

27 June 2006

ding!

i love our house. obviously, since i write about it all the time. and, i gotta tell ya, we are making it great.

we bought tile from a friend who is a tile seller-person. it is beautiful multicolored slate tile. lots of variation in colors and patterns. so that is the big plan for the fourth. tiling. oh and did i mention the painting? we are painting the dining room and sunroom this weekend too. the architect is just finishing skim-coating the secret wall cabinet so that it looks like wall... then we will start painting it pretty sage green. that's right folks! no more silver walls in my house! hooray! i also threw out all the light switch and plug covers (that were also painted silver) and bought new ones. plus a lovely new dimmer switch for the dining room.

we have made this house great, people. value is going up as we speak. i can't wait to have a party.

26 June 2006

20 June 2006

first times

i don't remember the first time we met. he does. i do not. which is not how the world is supposed to work. he forgets everything. that is not an understatement. i remember the night because it was a friend from college's bachelorette party and the whole night i was in the middle of trying to kick out my roommate from our apartment. (this was not because i am a mean person, it was to keep me from becomming a mean person. my two roommates would have killed each other had we all stayed in the same space and i would have been caught in the crossfire. but i digress...) i do remember the second time we met. it was at the same venue. he bought me a drink. and then he spilled in on me. on my nice, new white shirt. but i didn't really care because he had bought me a big, yummy drink and shirts can be washed. we did not get together that night. or any other nights for another year and a half. i had to go thru torture with some of his best friends first. then, on valentine's day in 2003, we finally got together. and life hasn't been the same since.

now a sidenote must be added. we had met one time before which was the official first time. but neither of us new that had happened until a while into our relationship. i actually went to his going away party before he travelled to europe. i told him to go to oxford because i had just returned and it is a wonderful place. (everyone should go to oxford. it is a wonderful place.) he remembered the girl who told him to go to oxford. neither of us put two and two together that it was us until later on.

i remember our first kiss. (valentine's day). i do not remember the other first (if you know what i mean). i can give you a time frame. but no secure date. that makes me mad. i should remember that.

19 June 2006

the dancing cup

today i drove to barnes and noble over lunch. i have to get out and enjoy the day. i also was on a mission to buy "the devil wears prada" and other beach reads to get me thru the summer. on my way, i was stopped at a stoplight next to a dancing cup. there, on the corner, was a man dressing in an inflatable quizno's cup, dancing. many thoughts ran thru my head as i sat and watched his show. was he feeling super embarassed that his boass was making him dress up like a cup and dance on the corner? or was he the guy that volunteered and was super excited to be dancing around in a cup suit? and was he hot? or does the fan inside the suit that keeps in inflated also keep the wearer cool? watching the cup, i had an overwhelming desire to buy something at quizno's for lunch. to make the cup's dance worth it. or something like that.

finally...

i have pictures of the house.

here they are:







please note pretty new orange chair and leather couch. yay!

14 June 2006

the creek

tbs shows re-runs of dawson's creek in the mornings right before i go to work. i caught the final episode this morning and it totally brought me back to my high school days. the show started my junior year and all the gang from high school (boys included) would gather at our friend angela's house for dawson's creek night. the boys were into it more than the girls then. we would be studying and they would be shushing us. at that time, dawson's creek kind of mimicked my life. and everyone i knew agreed (at least the girls that i gossiped about it with did). i was joey and my friend mike was dawson. we were best friends that maybe should or shouldn't get together. one of us liked the other and then the other way around. actually, maybe it was me who only held that tiny flame for mike at that time. but that is beside the point. mike even looked like dawson. we never got together, and that, in hindsight, was a good thing. high school crushes don't ever end up the way you think they are gonna.

it is funny to watch that show again now. it brings back funny memories. then you watch the last episode where they all haven't seen each other in years and they are all still friend and happy and then jenn dies and joey finally chooses a guy. blah blah blah. but it made me wish that all my friends from high school could get together and catch up. made me miss the times when crushed were the biggest drama you had to deal with, along with the history exam that, looking back, didn't really matter if you failed or not.

i always make fun of dave because he still is so interested in what happens at his high school. how the football team is doing and stuff like that. i think it is because i am kind of jealous. i didn't like high school as much as he did. i don't miss it. but i miss those little things like a good dawson's creek night.

31 May 2006

conversation

i always ask dave what he eats. it is very odd. as we are talking about our days, discussing work, it is always a question. "what did you have for lunch?" part of me wants to know because i am obsessed with food. part of me wants to know because i want to know how much money he spent on the food. because now we have a house. and we need to save money.

i wonder if he thinks it's weird that i always ask that. or if the reason i ask is because we are running out of things to talk about. there should always be things to talk about. can you really run out of topics to discuss? or do you just become board with talking to the same person?

burnt toast

i am burnt out. toast. tired of doing things.

moving this weekend was fine. i can't say great. but it went off without a hitch. i can't say great because it was 95 degrees out. hot and sticky. however, moving things in made a huge difference in how i feel about the house. it feels like home now. home with lots of boxes and trash everywhere, but home nonetheless. i could have used another five days off work to get everything done. we were lucky that we had some many days to do stuff in the first place. but i want to do more stuff. i want everything done NOW. we have so many plans and i can't wait for them all to come to life. remodeling the kitchen is something that i really want to happen soon. partly because i want it to look nicer. partly because i feel that paint disinfects things and the kitchen really needs to be disinfected. and made pretty.

we slept in our new ikea bed last night. it looks great. and i think it is comfortable. i am just not quite sure yet. i don't think it is as comfortable as my old bed. i love my old bed. love it. but ikea is cheap and pretty. the headboard is awesome. we kind of end up with a cramped room with it in there and the two chests of drawers we bought. but it looks great. and i got pretty sheets from target. the are pretty and chocolate colored with designs. i got a red duvet cover because we have a red wall in the bedroom... and i found the perfect pillow to pull it all together! i should be a bedding designer. so last night i finally got to put it all together and i think it is perfect. now i just need ot go buy more pillows for the pillow shams and we will be all done with the bedroom (we got all the non-red walls re-painted on sunday morning).

after the sunday morning painting came the second and biggest trip to ikea of the weekend. on friday i went by myself to get light fixtures to replace all the fugly ones in the bedrooms and fixtures for the bathroom. sunday was bed and chests of drawers. monday was bedframe that they were out of on sunday. i will say that ikea is the greatest cheap place to have lunch. dave and i have discovered the 50 cent hot dogs. we can have a huge lunch, including dessert, for $4. awesome. we did that sunday and monday. we are pathetic. but the hot dogs rock. that ends my ode to ikea.

now i have to try to think about work.

22 May 2006

baking cookies

we are in full renovation mode at the house. dave is on the final stage of re-finishing our hardwood floors and i am on the third coat of paint on the woodwork upstairs. i am anxious to get all this stuff done and we have only gotten to half of what we planned on doing before we moved in. i am hoping to paint the walls of two of the bedrooms before friday. but that means i have to finish woodwork first. and that seems like a never ending job.

there are too many little things around the house that seems to be part of the old owners. i want this house to be fully ours... and that includes paint colors and light fixtures. i want to demolish and change. make it all my choices. our home.

i want too many things. things that we can't afford to change right now. better tile in the bathroom. new kitchen countertops and a new sink. new blinds for the living room. it is a vision in my head that i want realized now.

i am sure that as we get stuff in... our stuff... that it will feel more like home. it needs to stop smelling like others and start smelling like us. i hate walking in and smelling them. i want to walk in and smell home. i will have to bake some cookies right away when we move in.

15 May 2006

puffs plus

being sick sucks. it gets in the way of everything that you want to be doing. this weekend should have been the best time ever. finally getting into our house to paint and sand floors and all the good dirty work. i, of course, had no desire to be doing anything because my nose was so stuffed up and sawdust and paint fumes were the last thing that i needed to be sniffing. stupid cold runied everything. and now (still sick) i have a raw nose from blowing so much. my mom always thought that i was dumb wanting the good tissues... but there is a reason dammit! when you blow your nose as much as i do, you gotta have the soft stuff to do it with. puffs plus is the stuff.

the stupid cold also made me miss dinner with dave's family saturday. his uncle made steaks and i missed it! oh! a good thick steaks sounds like heaven. thank god there was an america's nest top model marathon on. it pulled me thru.

i also learned that nasel decongestent is also an appetite suppressant. interesting bit of knowledge. maybe i will lose a few and the cold will come to something good that way.

threshold

we finally have possession of our house. keys, garage openers, garage code, and a very dirty oven. (our realtor is sending a cleaning service because the previous owners didn't clean the kitchen at all and i was appalled. i did not want to clean that oven.)

we went to sign our life away and then made a stop at bed, bath and beyond for pillows and a trash can, the home depot for a de-humidifier (which we didn't buy because it was so expensive, but i went back and bought the next day anyways) and paint to begin the process of making this house great, then on to sears to see if they had a cheaper de-humidifier (which they didn't) where we ended up buying a shop vac. i did not have any desire to use my beautiful, new, normal vacuum for sawdust. more on my new vacuum later.

so we get to the house that is now officially ours, get to the front door and, out of nowhere, dave says "wait!" and reaches down to pick me up and carry me across the threshold. a romantic gesture to be sure. i was surprised he thought of it. it made me happy. then we high-tailed it to pepitos for some yummy celebration food.

good things.

05 May 2006

margaritas

happy cinco de mayo to all. we are all celebrating with margaritas and dos equis here at work. i am a little bit tipsy from the pre-mixed 'ritas that i poured downstairs (they have more tequila in them than you expect). now i am trying to figure out what to do tonight. i was really excited to go out with friends and have a jolly good time. however, that will not be happening. we were to late to make plans with people. they all have other friends and we have none. oh the sadness.

i really have no alcohol tolerance anymore. one drink and i am all fuzzy. not drunk. just fuzzy. a little "whoo hoo," if you will.

so now i am going to make some salsa and be happy at my home.

happy friday!

02 May 2006

holding on

i recieved an e-mail from my friend who just recently moved to madrid. the one i wrote about a few weeks back (see freedom). his e-mail gave me a little more perspective on my life, and so i am including it here. he has always been an eloquent writer, and i feel that this e-mail gave a good perspective on how everyones life can turn out a little different. (k-i hope you aren't mad i included this. it had to be done).

"i always have been impressed with your commitment to keep things going from your double major in college, your commitment to a years worth of bookmaking, to the faith of a "hopeless romantic". maybe jealousy is a better word. you posted that a part of you wishes you had the "freedom" that i have exercised by up and moving to a different country and a different life, but i have always longed for your ability to see every day as a new day. understanding this perspective i hope you realize that same part of you in me makes me feel as if this wasn't an exercise in freedom but just taking the next step in my life that i always felt i had to take. i had begun to take my life for granted and once that happens it gets really hard to get out of bed in the morning. five years i worked at fridays. two of them with a college degree. i continued taking classes aimlessly because i always knew in my heart that bartending at fridays couldn't be it. even though i made the decision to move before fridays closed i really see that happing as a sign that i made the right choice. where will the next day take me? i don't know but if i did undoubtedly it would depress me. does it make sense to say that i am hopelessly bound by freedom? burning through life as if it was the only one i have. at the end i may reflect back and regret all the things i left behind where as you, i hope, will see all the good you held on to."

i am happy with all the things in my life. in my choices to see commitments thru and to be who i am. i know that someday i will be able to do things that i dream about now. and i know that i have made the right choices for me. sometimes i just get a little bit curious at how my life would be if i weren't me. if i were some fancy person that always wears make-up that always catches peoples' eye. or if i were more independent and lived by myself and did things alone more often. but i am just me. plain old liz who wears a ponytail to work because it is easy and doesn't care if she has lipstick on or not. who likes to go to the movies with people, to share experiences with someone, rather than having it all to myself. i like me, sometimes, i just wonder if i should be someone else.

27 April 2006

lunchtime fun

i promised a friend that i would start updating my blog before lunch so he would have something fun to read. so here i go. i enjoy the lunchtime blog reads. i get disappointed when my favorites have not been updated. so i am going to try to do better, all for my good friend hepp.

today however, i have a lunch meeting, so i don't get to have lunchtime blog fun. i get free pizza and company meeting time. my boss came in yesterday and asked if i could think of anything cool that we had done for him to present today. i drew a blank. which worries me because i feel like i should have a bunch of stuff to tell him. i should be doing tons of cool stuff to make him happy and follow the agency's goals. but i don't. i have a nintendo game that we used as an invite for a party. and a whole bunch of sell sheets and tech brochures. not exactly forward thinking. but i can't exactly do inventive things when the only projects i get are sell sheets and tech brochures. so that is that. what can ya do?

tonight the object and i head for ohio to visit his family. another long weekend away from home. i am tired of the travelling. excited to go. but tired. i feel like i haven't gotten anything done and that i am a visitor to my own life right now. i am neglecting work and home. then comes the big move and lots of projects. i just need a day off to lay and be. then i will be ready to tackle the excitment of the home-making. only two weeks away. then official grown-up-ness.

16 April 2006

easter


it is easter. but yet it is just a normal sunday. we spent all morning in bed reading, i justified it, thinking "it's easter... we can have a lazy sunday morning..." or "it's easter, i don't need to go to yoga." so we stayed in bed, until noon, when we got up to dye easter eggs. a blast from the past.

yesterday, he asked if we should go to church. for easter. i was surprised. like we were trying to go back to being little on easter. "what is with you?" i asked... "you want to dye eggs and go to church? are you going traditional on me?" and he responded: "you bought ham." which i had. they keep advertising glazed ham on tv. i was craving ham sandwiches. think cut ham on crusty bread with yellow mustard. so we bought ham. and eggs. which are now all pretty colors, one with poka dots. and we are going to make deviled eggs to go with the ham sandwiches.

we also bought reeces peanut butter eggs. my favorite. so much better than cups, because there is a bigger peanut butter to chocolate ratio.

so it's not a traditional easter, but it has whispers of easters from the past.

09 April 2006

headin' south

last week i was down south, in beautiful and sunny texas, shooting photos of farmers in their natural habitat. this translates to me sitting in the middle of a corn field of 14 hours and day and having to pee with no toilet in sight. i did, however, meet some fun texas people. only one wore a cowboy hat. but they all wore their jeans very high, which caused them all to have more of a beer gut than they would in normal jeans.

barbeque was on my mind the whole weekend and when we got to taylor, texas we were able to have some official texas barbeque. screen doors, parchment paper, spicy sauce and yummy potato salad. the place was awesome, old yellowed business cards on the walls, bare bulbs hanging from the ceiling. it was great. but my camera lost all my photos so i have nothing to show. sad.

we did also get to spend some time in austin, which i found to be a fabulous town. i was able to get some awesome fish tacos and the magnolia cafe. they had an awesome garlic cream sauce and lots of avacados. yum. then we headed down to the river and had coffee and treats (an amazing brownie). it seems like a nice low key town. and after reading stephanie klein's blog and hearing about how she moved their and she loves it, it makes me want to go there too. but i also get overly obbessed with that blog. that is a whole other subjet.

05 April 2006

that time of day

it is that time again. i am tired. i don't want to drink more caffeine because then i will be awake for forever tonight. caffeine is a tricky, tricky thing. it is great in the morning, and great tasting, but damn it if it doesn't keep me awake when i should be asleep. so now, when i should be thinking of great things about dogs and cats and pigs (i am not kidding) i am drowsy and i just want a little snappy nap. i think that daylight savings time has messed with my head. i can't get up in the morning anymore. or at least it is much more difficult than it was last week. the days are nice and long and i love the sunlight, but i want it to make me more chipper, not less productive. damn sun. do your magic.

i stole a chair from the lounge in our office. no one ever sat in it and i really love it. so now it resides in my office for others to enjoy. and, on days like this, for me to sit in and be comfy and concept. or almost fall asleep.

i wish i had some magic way to wake myself up. i feel like i can't concentrate when i am like this.

blah.

i am going to sit in my chair now.

04 April 2006

letterpress

so, i stole all of the good letterpress links from the side of my friend kelly's blog. kel? i hope that is okay. it is just that i love letterpress, too. and this way i have all those great links at my disposal all the time.

letterpress is good shit.

03 April 2006

chip kidd

i need to take a moment to gush about chip kidd. i was lucky enough to be able to see him speak last week and i was totaly awe-struck by his brilliance, his personality and his work. i can't say enough good things about him. he was funny, inspiring and has designed so many book covers that you wouldn't even believe it. watching him speak and flail about made me happy. and modivated me to do great things.

some great thoughts from his lecture (which, by the way, was named: "there is a style gland that turns malignant in nevada.")

- separation of type and state: type and images stay in different countries and never go to war.

- take a word and make it look like it's in denial. (re: dry by augusten burroughs)

- it's not what you show, it's what you imply.

- create, learn and perfect an impression. (his was the wicked witch of the west reciting a psalm.)

- live everyday of your life as if you are dying of a contageous disease that turns people into zombies when you bite them.

the hour he spoke went by so quickly. i felt like i learned so much in such a short amount of time. good stuff.

i suggest everyone read his book, "cheese monkeys." i was so mad that i forgot to bring it for him to sign. but i bought his retrospective, and he signed that for me. that made me happy.

freedom

i just recieved an e-mail from an old college friend who dropped the bomb on me that he had just picked up and moved to spain. no plans, no job, no nothing. just packed and left.

to be honest, i was floored. not because i was surprised that he did this, which i wasn't because i think that it was an awesome move for him. but more because i can't even fathom having even the possibility of doing that.

let me set you straight now: i am not complaining about my life sucking in any way, shape or form. my life is great. but damn, to have the open-ness in life to just do that. drop everything and move. amazing.

i would never give up the things i have in my life to do it, but sometimes that freedom is something that i long for. the freedom to meove to a new city, to travel and see amazing sites, to be engrossed in a new culture.

when i was in mexico a met a woman who really amazed me because she had this ability to be totally free in her life. she was the planner for my friend's wedding down there, and we sat and had coffee with her and just asked about how she ended up in playa. (she is originally from italy). her story and her attitude was great. she had been travelling for two years, playa was her last stop, it seemed right, she opened a coffee shop and that was that. now she is married to an american who lives there too, and she goes back to europe and takes her daughter travelling for a few months every year.

sometimes i feel very traditional. life has always seemed very set in how it is supposed to be. college, job, marriage. the end. i want all that. but sometimes i get the inkling for an adventure. i have adventures here. the house is an adventure. but in a different way.

someday, maybe dave and i will adventure together. leave work for a month and just do something amazing. until then, i will have to find mini adventures in my everyday life. those have the possibility of being just as good.

31 March 2006

faux friends

so. every so often i head back to the home land for the wedding of a sorority sister. these events are always a little odd. usually there will be very few people that i have talked to in the past year or two. (not that i haven't tried, mind you.) plus, these are always the people that make you worry about how you look. for past weddings i have dieted because i knew i would be seeing all of them, knowing what they would be thinking or saying or whatever. the sorority girls. pretty, skinny, stereotypical.

i am less worried this time. maybe it is because i know there are bigger, better things to worry about. maybe i am just growing up. i am interested to see how tomorrow night shapes up. who will arrive together. who will act like my best friend even though i haven't heard a peep from them in the past two years. maybe i expect too much. and it isn't like i won't be nice or anything. but when you sent a birthday message, sometimes a reply is nice.

reciprocate, people! that is all i ask. be nice. geez.

it makes me look back and wonder how good of friends they were in the first place. i know they were at times. i mean, when someone catches your puke, that takes friendship. but did they treasure my friendship like i did their's? i think no. but are they really a true friend if you have to put on a show? again, i think no.

a good friend once told me that you shouldn't be afraid to fart around your friends. if they are really your friends they understand that it happens and maybe there will be a chuckle, but they won't freak out about it. i so agree with that. my true friends, i know that, if i fart, they will still love me just the same.

30 March 2006

the future

my agency has been talking a lot about the future lately. and, maybe i am just in a bad mood today, but i have become worn out thinking about it. it is exciting to think about the future and all the new things that it is going to bring. but it is overwhelming at the same time and i see it bringing a large amount of work and hassle to my life that i don't want to deal with right now. maybe it is because i am worried about my own future and not anyone elses right now. selfish to the end.

so tomorrow we are having a learning workshop on blogging. ironic, no? i have known about blogs for what seems like forever. (obviously, you have to if you are reading this.) who doesn't know about blogging and the other great things that the internet has to offer. maybe it is because we are stuck out here in west bloomington, on the edge looking in at all the fun stuff. not saying that i have nothing to learn. i know that i am clueless on a lot of issues. there are ten year olds that know more about the internet than i ever will.

maybe it is because i have other things that i want to be thinking about. usually this type of thing would get me all modivated. ready for action and inspired to do great things. but right now i just don't really care. it may also be because i feel like work is stuff in a funk of not moving forward. there has been talk of moving forward for the whole time i have been here. nothing has happened. funk.

i am however, very excited about my future. looking forward to making our house something great and beautiful and home. painting, decorating, all that jazz. that fires me up. i have great plans for the house. ways to make it beautimous. because i know how great it can be. i just want the time and the money to do it all now. how many lottery tickets do i have to buy to have a chance?

24 March 2006

i've fallen behind

life has gotten too crazy busy and i haven't been able to write. damn the man. i feel so worn out. i need a day to relax.

it is funny how after a week of craziness you can have such a weight on your shoulders. it feels like i am carrying a brick around on my head. i need a way to release.

i thought that writing would help... but now i can't think of anything to write. i am too tired. maybe next week will be better.

12 March 2006

it has happened.

i have become an adult...

i a buying a house. with a boy. all with my own money (and the bank's, i guess).

please meet the new residence of dave and liz...


house, meet the world.

more info to come.

07 March 2006

the test: ISFJ

because my friend kelly took it... the jung typology test... i followed.

it is odd how answering questions about oneself makes you really have to think about who you are. i think that this was VERY accurate for me... it is almost scary. yikes.

here is my result:

• moderately expressed introvert
• distinctively expressed sensing personality
• distinctively expressed feeling personality
• moderately expressed judging personality

"ISFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their "need to be needed." In extreme cases, this need is so strong that standard give-and-take relationships are deeply unsatisfying to them; however, most ISFJs find more than enough with which to occupy themselves within the framework of a normal life. (Since ISFJs, like all SJs, are very much bound by the prevailing social conventions, their form of "service" is likely to exclude any elements of moral or political controversy; they specialize in the local, the personal, and the practical.)

ISFJs are often unappreciated, at work, home, and play. Ironically, because they prove over and over that they can be relied on for their loyalty and unstinting, high-quality work, those around them often take them for granted--even take advantage of them. Admittedly, the problem is sometimes aggravated by the ISFJs themselves; for instance, they are notoriously bad at delegating ("If you want it done right, do it yourself"). And although they're hurt by being treated like doormats, they are often unwilling to toot their own horns about their accomplishments because they feel that although they deserve more credit than they're getting, it's somehow wrong to want any sort of reward for doing work (which is supposed to be a virtue in itself). (And as low-profile Is, their actions don't call attention to themselves as with charismatic Es.) Because of all of this, ISFJs are often overworked, and as a result may suffer from psychosomatic illnesses.

In the workplace, ISFJs are methodical and accurate workers, often with very good memories and unexpected analytic abilities; they are also good with people in small-group or one-on-one situations because of their patient and genuinely sympathetic approach to dealing with others. ISFJs make pleasant and reliable co-workers and exemplary employees, but tend to be harried and uncomfortable in supervisory roles. They are capable of forming strong loyalties, but these are personal rather than institutional loyalties; if someone they've bonded with in this way leaves the company, the ISFJ will leave with them, if given the option. Traditional careers for an ISFJ include: teaching, social work, most religious work, nursing, medicine (general practice only), clerical and and secretarial work of any kind, and some kinds of administrative careers.

While their work ethic is high on the ISFJ priority list, their families are the centers of their lives. ISFJs are extremely warm and demonstrative within the family circle--and often possessive of their loved ones, as well. When these include Es who want to socialize with the rest of the world, or self-contained ITs, the ISFJ must learn to adjust to these behaviors and not interpret them as rejection. Being SJs, they place a strong emphasis on conventional behavior (although, unlike STJs, they are usually as concerned with being "nice" as with strict propriety); if any of their nearest and dearest depart from the straight-and-narrow, it causes the ISFJ major embarrassment: the closer the relationship and the more public the act, the more intense the embarrassment (a fact which many of their teenage children take gleeful advantage of). Over time, however, ISFJs usually mellow, and learn to regard the culprits as harmless eccentrics :-). Needless to say, ISFJs take infinite trouble over meals, gifts, celebrations, etc., for their loved ones--although strong Js may tend to focus more on what the recipient should want rather than what they do want.

Like most Is, ISFJs have a few, close friends. They are extremely loyal to these, and are ready to provide emotional and practical support at a moment's notice. (However, like most Fs they hate confrontation; if you get into a fight, don't expect them to jump in after you. You can count on them, however, run and get the nearest authority figure.) Unlike with EPs, the older the friendship is, the more an ISFJ will value it. One ISFJ trait that is easily misunderstood by those who haven't known them long is that they are often unable to either hide or articulate any distress they may be feeling. For instance, an ISFJ child may be reproved for "sulking," the actual cause of which is a combination of physical illness plus misguided "good manners." An adult ISFJ may drive a (later ashamed) friend or SO into a fit of temper over the ISFJ's unexplained moodiness, only afterwards to explain about a death in the family they "didn't want to burden anyone with." Those close to ISFJs should learn to watch for the warning signs in these situations and take the initiative themselves to uncover the problem."

people who know me would probably agree with most everything in those four paragraphs. hmmmm.

06 March 2006

memory

memory is a funny thing. mine isn't great. i forget things easier than most people. like yesterday when i was at a baseball game... there was a guy who i should have known... i feel like i might have made out with him at some point way back when... but for the life of me i could not remember who he was. i remember that he always wore his hat backwards. but that is it. no name, no connections. bad memory.

it is funny, however, how things randomly will pop into my head. and also how certain things will trigger memories burried deep inside. things like a song, that brings back a memory from a night under the stars... a looooooong time ago. or a random funny fact that is pretty insignificant, but funny to remember nonetheless.

i wish i remembered more things... that my memory was like a file system that i could resource whenever i needed it. i forget things like names of actors or bands. stuff i know, but that i just can't access. i don't remember t.v. shows from when i was little. i get them mixed up, who belongs to which show. but i do remember the episode of the muppet babies when fozzie and gonzo got their shirts messed up and gonzo thought he was shrinking. then nanny comes in and makes it all right with her green and white striped socks.

03 March 2006

cookbooks

what is it about cookbooks that is so great? i have a ton, i rarely use them (not that i don't want to, but time and money tend to get in the way of big gourmet meals), but, damn it, i love them so.

there is nothing like sitting down with a new cookbook, flipping through the glossy pages and salivating over the good looking food, hoping that one day, i can have a dinner party and make lots of good things. the cookbook section of barnes and noble is the greatest. if there is a open cushy chair and it is quiet, i can sit for hours with a stack of books and a coffee and waste away the day.

i can also lose days watching the food network. i feel it is a learning thing... better than watching MTV... it is almost like the food network doesn't fry your brain as much. like the discovery channel with yummy appetizers instead of bloody surgery.

i will admit to my obsession with food. food is great. it can take you back into the past, make you feel at home, or even make you feel sexy. food has magic powers. it can make you feel good about yourself, bad about yourself and even put you to sleep.


i guess the best thing about food (besides the taste, of course) is that it brings people together. i love a night when i can cook for just the two of us, or a night when i can cook for a ton of people.

all and all, its just good stuff. now back to work.

01 March 2006

personal shoppers

we are all personal shoppers. we gather information from our clients and go back to them with things to buy that we think should fit their needs. i know that if I were the client that I would be super picky about the clothes that were brought for me to wear everyday. i like what i like and that is that. i am picky about clothes.

so, when those of us in creative fields, be it advertising or the like, present concepts to a client, it ends up being the same type of thing.

it is frustrating being on this side. you put so much hard work into doing something you think they will like, something you think will be good for their company, will increase sales and maybe, at the same time, make you a little famous. then, of course, the inevitable happens: they don't like it. the color is wrong, there needs to be a dog AND a cat in the photo, "we really wanted to see this so can you just do what we say and stop trying to be creative"... it goes on and on.

it's difficult, watching things that you are so proud of die a slow painful death. it helps me a bit to think about the personal shoppers out there. to think about how i would be when i am picking out something to represent myself or my company. but it still sucks.

28 February 2006

laziness...

i knew that i would end up not writing in this as much as i wanted to. i always have good intentions of doing creative things... carrying my camera everywhere, painting more, writing in a journal... none of it gets done. i just sit and watch t.v. and go to bed.

lazy.

that is really all you can say. i totally admire the people who are creative all the time. they seem deep and interesting to me. i should be one of those people. i am in advertising, for christ's sake! i am supposed to be one of the most creative of the creative people. confession: i am not.

i am lazy.

don't get me wrong, i have streaks of the creativity that i am supposed to have. i may go as far as to say i have streaks of genius... but that seems too boastful. these streaks come when i am hopped up on coffee. during jittery periods of the day. caffeine helps my brain work. maybe if i just took speed...

kidding.

so. the point of the post is that i am going to try to write regularly. maybe not everyday. but more than once a month.

because laziness is crap.

07 February 2006

growing older...

birthdays are weird things. they seem like they should be big. celebrations. a holiday for you and for everyone who loves you to celebrate. but they're not really. they are just another day. a day where you have to work and do all the things that you have to do. you may get a cake or some presents. (i am lucky. i got a cake.) but it really is just another day. i am only a day older than yesterday. not much has changed.

06 February 2006

what is it about marriage?

what makes little girls dream about marriage? we dress up like brides, dream about meeting the perfect prince charming, plan our wedding before the man is even a figment of our imagination. what is it about marriage that creates this yearning, crazy feeling inside of us?

i have always wanted the man to pursue me. it is the whole romance thing of it. man falls for woman and sends flowers and poems and things to show his affection for her. it doesn't happen that way anymore. the world has changed. women pursue. women wait. women purpose, which, sometimes seems like a great idea to me. but if i ever did this, i feel like the man would blow it off as just a suggestion, not as a real proposal. so i wait. we all wait. until the other is ready and we can finally start our real wedding plans. not just the imaginary ones. the real ones. the ones that cost money and that we don't have to keep hidden deep down inside ourselves.

and we can have real plans for the future. a girl i knew got married right out of college and i remember her saying "i am ready for the wedding, i just don't think i am ready for the whole marriage thing." this, is crazy. you get married because you want to have a future with the person you love. not to have a wedding. believe me, i am so excited about the thought of planning a wedding i could faint. but i know what the point of the wedding is. i am more excited about the being together forever part. the growing old together. the knowing he will be by my side forever. i am so excited to see the look on his face when we have our first child. the first look when i tell him that i am pregnant and surprise him with some kids toy or something. and the look when he gets to hold that child for the first time. the wedding is the starting point to all of this.

maybe that is why we long for this thing. when we know that we are ready, we know we have the person we want to be with. maybe we are ready to take that next step and start that new portion of our life.

i am happy now. i live with the man i love. i have a great job and great friends. but i am always open to the idea that there is more. more happieness to be had. more love to share.