afraid of the silence.

i watch tv as i fall asleep. my night time schedule revolves around the tv schedule. if there is a basketball game that messes with this schedule, i feel very thrown off. friends (two episodes) the will and grace (also two episodes). this gets me to midnight, by which time i am already asleep and the lovely sleep time has turned off the tv.

i don't however, sleep very well. i know it is because of this habit. tv messes with your rem cycle. it doesn't give you the time to think as you go to sleep. but i think this is why i like it. the more i think as i go to sleep, the harder it is for me to sleep. if i can listen to something that is familiar, then i don't have to think. i can just fall into sleep.

i want to break this habit. i want to be able to sleep and have good dreams and good rem. i want to wake up refreshed. not still longing for sleep.

but the silence can be scary. and i probably will never break this habit.

kitty

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