so. every so often i head back to the home land for the wedding of a sorority sister. these events are always a little odd. usually there will be very few people that i have talked to in the past year or two. (not that i haven't tried, mind you.) plus, these are always the people that make you worry about how you look. for past weddings i have dieted because i knew i would be seeing all of them, knowing what they would be thinking or saying or whatever. the sorority girls. pretty, skinny, stereotypical.
i am less worried this time. maybe it is because i know there are bigger, better things to worry about. maybe i am just growing up. i am interested to see how tomorrow night shapes up. who will arrive together. who will act like my best friend even though i haven't heard a peep from them in the past two years. maybe i expect too much. and it isn't like i won't be nice or anything. but when you sent a birthday message, sometimes a reply is nice.
reciprocate, people! that is all i ask. be nice. geez.
it makes me look back and wonder how good of friends they were in the first place. i know they were at times. i mean, when someone catches your puke, that takes friendship. but did they treasure my friendship like i did their's? i think no. but are they really a true friend if you have to put on a show? again, i think no.
a good friend once told me that you shouldn't be afraid to fart around your friends. if they are really your friends they understand that it happens and maybe there will be a chuckle, but they won't freak out about it. i so agree with that. my true friends, i know that, if i fart, they will still love me just the same.
31 March 2006
30 March 2006
the future
my agency has been talking a lot about the future lately. and, maybe i am just in a bad mood today, but i have become worn out thinking about it. it is exciting to think about the future and all the new things that it is going to bring. but it is overwhelming at the same time and i see it bringing a large amount of work and hassle to my life that i don't want to deal with right now. maybe it is because i am worried about my own future and not anyone elses right now. selfish to the end.
so tomorrow we are having a learning workshop on blogging. ironic, no? i have known about blogs for what seems like forever. (obviously, you have to if you are reading this.) who doesn't know about blogging and the other great things that the internet has to offer. maybe it is because we are stuck out here in west bloomington, on the edge looking in at all the fun stuff. not saying that i have nothing to learn. i know that i am clueless on a lot of issues. there are ten year olds that know more about the internet than i ever will.
maybe it is because i have other things that i want to be thinking about. usually this type of thing would get me all modivated. ready for action and inspired to do great things. but right now i just don't really care. it may also be because i feel like work is stuff in a funk of not moving forward. there has been talk of moving forward for the whole time i have been here. nothing has happened. funk.
i am however, very excited about my future. looking forward to making our house something great and beautiful and home. painting, decorating, all that jazz. that fires me up. i have great plans for the house. ways to make it beautimous. because i know how great it can be. i just want the time and the money to do it all now. how many lottery tickets do i have to buy to have a chance?
so tomorrow we are having a learning workshop on blogging. ironic, no? i have known about blogs for what seems like forever. (obviously, you have to if you are reading this.) who doesn't know about blogging and the other great things that the internet has to offer. maybe it is because we are stuck out here in west bloomington, on the edge looking in at all the fun stuff. not saying that i have nothing to learn. i know that i am clueless on a lot of issues. there are ten year olds that know more about the internet than i ever will.
maybe it is because i have other things that i want to be thinking about. usually this type of thing would get me all modivated. ready for action and inspired to do great things. but right now i just don't really care. it may also be because i feel like work is stuff in a funk of not moving forward. there has been talk of moving forward for the whole time i have been here. nothing has happened. funk.
i am however, very excited about my future. looking forward to making our house something great and beautiful and home. painting, decorating, all that jazz. that fires me up. i have great plans for the house. ways to make it beautimous. because i know how great it can be. i just want the time and the money to do it all now. how many lottery tickets do i have to buy to have a chance?
24 March 2006
i've fallen behind
life has gotten too crazy busy and i haven't been able to write. damn the man. i feel so worn out. i need a day to relax.
it is funny how after a week of craziness you can have such a weight on your shoulders. it feels like i am carrying a brick around on my head. i need a way to release.
i thought that writing would help... but now i can't think of anything to write. i am too tired. maybe next week will be better.
it is funny how after a week of craziness you can have such a weight on your shoulders. it feels like i am carrying a brick around on my head. i need a way to release.
i thought that writing would help... but now i can't think of anything to write. i am too tired. maybe next week will be better.
12 March 2006
it has happened.
i have become an adult...
i a buying a house. with a boy. all with my own money (and the bank's, i guess).
please meet the new residence of dave and liz...
house, meet the world.
more info to come.
i a buying a house. with a boy. all with my own money (and the bank's, i guess).
please meet the new residence of dave and liz...
house, meet the world.
more info to come.
07 March 2006
the test: ISFJ
because my friend kelly took it... the jung typology test... i followed.
it is odd how answering questions about oneself makes you really have to think about who you are. i think that this was VERY accurate for me... it is almost scary. yikes.
here is my result:
• moderately expressed introvert
• distinctively expressed sensing personality
• distinctively expressed feeling personality
• moderately expressed judging personality
"ISFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their "need to be needed." In extreme cases, this need is so strong that standard give-and-take relationships are deeply unsatisfying to them; however, most ISFJs find more than enough with which to occupy themselves within the framework of a normal life. (Since ISFJs, like all SJs, are very much bound by the prevailing social conventions, their form of "service" is likely to exclude any elements of moral or political controversy; they specialize in the local, the personal, and the practical.)
ISFJs are often unappreciated, at work, home, and play. Ironically, because they prove over and over that they can be relied on for their loyalty and unstinting, high-quality work, those around them often take them for granted--even take advantage of them. Admittedly, the problem is sometimes aggravated by the ISFJs themselves; for instance, they are notoriously bad at delegating ("If you want it done right, do it yourself"). And although they're hurt by being treated like doormats, they are often unwilling to toot their own horns about their accomplishments because they feel that although they deserve more credit than they're getting, it's somehow wrong to want any sort of reward for doing work (which is supposed to be a virtue in itself). (And as low-profile Is, their actions don't call attention to themselves as with charismatic Es.) Because of all of this, ISFJs are often overworked, and as a result may suffer from psychosomatic illnesses.
In the workplace, ISFJs are methodical and accurate workers, often with very good memories and unexpected analytic abilities; they are also good with people in small-group or one-on-one situations because of their patient and genuinely sympathetic approach to dealing with others. ISFJs make pleasant and reliable co-workers and exemplary employees, but tend to be harried and uncomfortable in supervisory roles. They are capable of forming strong loyalties, but these are personal rather than institutional loyalties; if someone they've bonded with in this way leaves the company, the ISFJ will leave with them, if given the option. Traditional careers for an ISFJ include: teaching, social work, most religious work, nursing, medicine (general practice only), clerical and and secretarial work of any kind, and some kinds of administrative careers.
While their work ethic is high on the ISFJ priority list, their families are the centers of their lives. ISFJs are extremely warm and demonstrative within the family circle--and often possessive of their loved ones, as well. When these include Es who want to socialize with the rest of the world, or self-contained ITs, the ISFJ must learn to adjust to these behaviors and not interpret them as rejection. Being SJs, they place a strong emphasis on conventional behavior (although, unlike STJs, they are usually as concerned with being "nice" as with strict propriety); if any of their nearest and dearest depart from the straight-and-narrow, it causes the ISFJ major embarrassment: the closer the relationship and the more public the act, the more intense the embarrassment (a fact which many of their teenage children take gleeful advantage of). Over time, however, ISFJs usually mellow, and learn to regard the culprits as harmless eccentrics :-). Needless to say, ISFJs take infinite trouble over meals, gifts, celebrations, etc., for their loved ones--although strong Js may tend to focus more on what the recipient should want rather than what they do want.
Like most Is, ISFJs have a few, close friends. They are extremely loyal to these, and are ready to provide emotional and practical support at a moment's notice. (However, like most Fs they hate confrontation; if you get into a fight, don't expect them to jump in after you. You can count on them, however, run and get the nearest authority figure.) Unlike with EPs, the older the friendship is, the more an ISFJ will value it. One ISFJ trait that is easily misunderstood by those who haven't known them long is that they are often unable to either hide or articulate any distress they may be feeling. For instance, an ISFJ child may be reproved for "sulking," the actual cause of which is a combination of physical illness plus misguided "good manners." An adult ISFJ may drive a (later ashamed) friend or SO into a fit of temper over the ISFJ's unexplained moodiness, only afterwards to explain about a death in the family they "didn't want to burden anyone with." Those close to ISFJs should learn to watch for the warning signs in these situations and take the initiative themselves to uncover the problem."
people who know me would probably agree with most everything in those four paragraphs. hmmmm.
it is odd how answering questions about oneself makes you really have to think about who you are. i think that this was VERY accurate for me... it is almost scary. yikes.
here is my result:
• moderately expressed introvert
• distinctively expressed sensing personality
• distinctively expressed feeling personality
• moderately expressed judging personality
"ISFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their "need to be needed." In extreme cases, this need is so strong that standard give-and-take relationships are deeply unsatisfying to them; however, most ISFJs find more than enough with which to occupy themselves within the framework of a normal life. (Since ISFJs, like all SJs, are very much bound by the prevailing social conventions, their form of "service" is likely to exclude any elements of moral or political controversy; they specialize in the local, the personal, and the practical.)
ISFJs are often unappreciated, at work, home, and play. Ironically, because they prove over and over that they can be relied on for their loyalty and unstinting, high-quality work, those around them often take them for granted--even take advantage of them. Admittedly, the problem is sometimes aggravated by the ISFJs themselves; for instance, they are notoriously bad at delegating ("If you want it done right, do it yourself"). And although they're hurt by being treated like doormats, they are often unwilling to toot their own horns about their accomplishments because they feel that although they deserve more credit than they're getting, it's somehow wrong to want any sort of reward for doing work (which is supposed to be a virtue in itself). (And as low-profile Is, their actions don't call attention to themselves as with charismatic Es.) Because of all of this, ISFJs are often overworked, and as a result may suffer from psychosomatic illnesses.
In the workplace, ISFJs are methodical and accurate workers, often with very good memories and unexpected analytic abilities; they are also good with people in small-group or one-on-one situations because of their patient and genuinely sympathetic approach to dealing with others. ISFJs make pleasant and reliable co-workers and exemplary employees, but tend to be harried and uncomfortable in supervisory roles. They are capable of forming strong loyalties, but these are personal rather than institutional loyalties; if someone they've bonded with in this way leaves the company, the ISFJ will leave with them, if given the option. Traditional careers for an ISFJ include: teaching, social work, most religious work, nursing, medicine (general practice only), clerical and and secretarial work of any kind, and some kinds of administrative careers.
While their work ethic is high on the ISFJ priority list, their families are the centers of their lives. ISFJs are extremely warm and demonstrative within the family circle--and often possessive of their loved ones, as well. When these include Es who want to socialize with the rest of the world, or self-contained ITs, the ISFJ must learn to adjust to these behaviors and not interpret them as rejection. Being SJs, they place a strong emphasis on conventional behavior (although, unlike STJs, they are usually as concerned with being "nice" as with strict propriety); if any of their nearest and dearest depart from the straight-and-narrow, it causes the ISFJ major embarrassment: the closer the relationship and the more public the act, the more intense the embarrassment (a fact which many of their teenage children take gleeful advantage of). Over time, however, ISFJs usually mellow, and learn to regard the culprits as harmless eccentrics :-). Needless to say, ISFJs take infinite trouble over meals, gifts, celebrations, etc., for their loved ones--although strong Js may tend to focus more on what the recipient should want rather than what they do want.
Like most Is, ISFJs have a few, close friends. They are extremely loyal to these, and are ready to provide emotional and practical support at a moment's notice. (However, like most Fs they hate confrontation; if you get into a fight, don't expect them to jump in after you. You can count on them, however, run and get the nearest authority figure.) Unlike with EPs, the older the friendship is, the more an ISFJ will value it. One ISFJ trait that is easily misunderstood by those who haven't known them long is that they are often unable to either hide or articulate any distress they may be feeling. For instance, an ISFJ child may be reproved for "sulking," the actual cause of which is a combination of physical illness plus misguided "good manners." An adult ISFJ may drive a (later ashamed) friend or SO into a fit of temper over the ISFJ's unexplained moodiness, only afterwards to explain about a death in the family they "didn't want to burden anyone with." Those close to ISFJs should learn to watch for the warning signs in these situations and take the initiative themselves to uncover the problem."
people who know me would probably agree with most everything in those four paragraphs. hmmmm.
06 March 2006
memory
memory is a funny thing. mine isn't great. i forget things easier than most people. like yesterday when i was at a baseball game... there was a guy who i should have known... i feel like i might have made out with him at some point way back when... but for the life of me i could not remember who he was. i remember that he always wore his hat backwards. but that is it. no name, no connections. bad memory.
it is funny, however, how things randomly will pop into my head. and also how certain things will trigger memories burried deep inside. things like a song, that brings back a memory from a night under the stars... a looooooong time ago. or a random funny fact that is pretty insignificant, but funny to remember nonetheless.
i wish i remembered more things... that my memory was like a file system that i could resource whenever i needed it. i forget things like names of actors or bands. stuff i know, but that i just can't access. i don't remember t.v. shows from when i was little. i get them mixed up, who belongs to which show. but i do remember the episode of the muppet babies when fozzie and gonzo got their shirts messed up and gonzo thought he was shrinking. then nanny comes in and makes it all right with her green and white striped socks.
it is funny, however, how things randomly will pop into my head. and also how certain things will trigger memories burried deep inside. things like a song, that brings back a memory from a night under the stars... a looooooong time ago. or a random funny fact that is pretty insignificant, but funny to remember nonetheless.
i wish i remembered more things... that my memory was like a file system that i could resource whenever i needed it. i forget things like names of actors or bands. stuff i know, but that i just can't access. i don't remember t.v. shows from when i was little. i get them mixed up, who belongs to which show. but i do remember the episode of the muppet babies when fozzie and gonzo got their shirts messed up and gonzo thought he was shrinking. then nanny comes in and makes it all right with her green and white striped socks.
03 March 2006
cookbooks
what is it about cookbooks that is so great? i have a ton, i rarely use them (not that i don't want to, but time and money tend to get in the way of big gourmet meals), but, damn it, i love them so.there is nothing like sitting down with a new cookbook, flipping through the glossy pages and salivating over the good looking food, hoping that one day, i can have a dinner party and make lots of good things. the cookbook section of barnes and noble is the greatest. if there is a open cushy chair and it is quiet, i can sit for hours with a stack of books and a coffee and waste away the day.
i can also lose days watching the food network. i feel it is a learning thing... better than watching MTV... it is almost like the food network doesn't fry your brain as much. like the discovery channel with yummy appetizers instead of bloody surgery.
i will admit to my obsession with food. food is great. it can take you back into the past, make you feel at home, or even make you feel sexy. food has magic powers. it can make you feel good about yourself, bad about yourself and even put you to sleep.
i guess the best thing about food (besides the taste, of course) is that it brings people together. i love a night when i can cook for just the two of us, or a night when i can cook for a ton of people.
all and all, its just good stuff. now back to work.
01 March 2006
personal shoppers
we are all personal shoppers. we gather information from our clients and go back to them with things to buy that we think should fit their needs. i know that if I were the client that I would be super picky about the clothes that were brought for me to wear everyday. i like what i like and that is that. i am picky about clothes.
so, when those of us in creative fields, be it advertising or the like, present concepts to a client, it ends up being the same type of thing.
it is frustrating being on this side. you put so much hard work into doing something you think they will like, something you think will be good for their company, will increase sales and maybe, at the same time, make you a little famous. then, of course, the inevitable happens: they don't like it. the color is wrong, there needs to be a dog AND a cat in the photo, "we really wanted to see this so can you just do what we say and stop trying to be creative"... it goes on and on.
it's difficult, watching things that you are so proud of die a slow painful death. it helps me a bit to think about the personal shoppers out there. to think about how i would be when i am picking out something to represent myself or my company. but it still sucks.
so, when those of us in creative fields, be it advertising or the like, present concepts to a client, it ends up being the same type of thing.
it is frustrating being on this side. you put so much hard work into doing something you think they will like, something you think will be good for their company, will increase sales and maybe, at the same time, make you a little famous. then, of course, the inevitable happens: they don't like it. the color is wrong, there needs to be a dog AND a cat in the photo, "we really wanted to see this so can you just do what we say and stop trying to be creative"... it goes on and on.
it's difficult, watching things that you are so proud of die a slow painful death. it helps me a bit to think about the personal shoppers out there. to think about how i would be when i am picking out something to represent myself or my company. but it still sucks.
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