relief

i have become very attached to my kitty. obviously. so when i took her in to the vet to get declawed and spayed on tuesday, i knew i would miss her, but i didn't know how worried about her that i would be. she has definately become like a child to me. i never thought that i would like having a cat this much, but i really do.

so this is where the story really begins. i took her to the vet that was suggested by the shelter we got her thru. the shelter paid to have the spay done there and it is the vet that they usually work with. you don't really expect a highly-recommended vet to have bullet holes in their door and have a small, scary, underground labarynth of an office. i was very nervous leaving her there. and i got even more nervoud waiting for the call saying that the surgery went okay and that she was doing fine. the call that never came. which, to me, seems very unprofessional. but whatever.

so i am not nervous anymore because i finally got a hold of the place, two days later, mind you, and ivy is eating and doing well. i get to go get her tonight and i will be happy to have her home. i really missed having her walk on my face to wake me up in the mornings. i really did.

ivy just wants to say hi.

no flash.

i almost got hit by a car today. i took a different route to the office because i had to return a library book, so i picked up a tea at dunn bros. to sooth my scratchy throat, returned my book and headed across the street when the light turned green. well, the nice lady in the silver sedan wasn't paying attention and slammed on her breaks two feet from my nice brown boots. i saw the words "oh, shit" come out of her mouth as i continued walking by, a little nervous about what almost happened, but not too put out. in fact, i was surprised that i wasn't more shook up. i just continued walking. no shortness of breath. no worries. i did have a vision of the tomato basil soup that was in my back pack splashed all over her car and the street around my broken body, but that was all. my life didn't flash before my eyes or anything. it was kind of a close call, but i guess it wasn't too close, because of the lack of flash.

afraid of the silence.

i watch tv as i fall asleep. my night time schedule revolves around the tv schedule. if there is a basketball game that messes with this schedule, i feel very thrown off. friends (two episodes) the will and grace (also two episodes). this gets me to midnight, by which time i am already asleep and the lovely sleep time has turned off the tv.

i don't however, sleep very well. i know it is because of this habit. tv messes with your rem cycle. it doesn't give you the time to think as you go to sleep. but i think this is why i like it. the more i think as i go to sleep, the harder it is for me to sleep. if i can listen to something that is familiar, then i don't have to think. i can just fall into sleep.

i want to break this habit. i want to be able to sleep and have good dreams and good rem. i want to wake up refreshed. not still longing for sleep.

but the silence can be scary. and i probably will never break this habit.

kitty

meet the newest member of our family!

one more year...

and i don't feel any more mature. i feel just as lazy and just and uninformed.

what?

i am reviving my blog after a long absence. this morning i got an e-mail from a friend chastizing me for not updating. i just haven't really had the writing feeling lately and when i got his e-mail i sat there for a second wondering what to write about... then i decided to wait until the mood struck with the correct emotions needed to write.

here it is, man.

i just recieved a phone call from the architect. he prefaced his story by saying we were going to have to make a change to our guest list. i braced myself waiting to see if someone had died.

"we will now make a change for an invite to read (name here) and guest."

our friends, a couple who we have always gone on double dates with, who we flew to mexico for their wedding almost exactly a year ago last week, who drank with us when we bought our house and who were the only people who knew we were getting engaged besides dave, are separating. she met someone else while he was working long hours at the office. he's known for a month and they were trying to work thru it. but basically she is leaving him. they are still living together and trying to decide what to do with the house. the house that they have worked on together for 5 years. i am guessing their dog will go with her.

it just seems unbelieveble. i can't even comprehend it. i edited their wedding video for them. i talked about it with him a week ago. i can't even imagine how much he didn't want to talk about it when i brought it up.

i have been in awe lately because so many people are having kids. it really is baby fever around these parts. i kept thinking, "are we old enough for kids?" now all i keep thinking is "are we old enough for divorce?" we have friends who are our age getting divorced. deciding who gets what. dividing ascets. it sucks. i don't want to think that people who were so happy a year ago are so not happy now. i don't ever want to be that woman. who find another man and makes someone hurt that way. never ever. does happiness disappear that quickly?

i don't know what to say.

a new season

it's no secret that i am addicted to grey's anatomy. everyone is. it is a great show. fabulous. and because it is so, a celebration was definately necessary to kick off the new season. so last night a few friends came over and we popped some bubbly and watched with excitement to see who meredith would pick, the vet or dr. mcdreamy. there was also food:

-italian quesadillas with caramelized onions and roasted red peppers
-salad with hard boiled eggs and bacon
-filo dough puffs with brie and cranberry
-popcorn with truffel oil
-grilled pineapple with nutella sauce and vanilla marscapone

it was a good night.